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It's my favorite time of the year

by James Logue

NEWS EDITOR

This is my favorite time of year. I've waited all winter for this. Now, it's here.

It's pothole season. Who needs amusement parks when you can travel West Virginia -- Land of a Million Potholes. Rollercoasters? Shoot, I can get my kicks on Route 76. (My apologies to Bobby Troupe.)

Just the other day I was tooling down the highway, when I hit a pothole the size of a large Dominos pizza (with extra toppings). I not only came off the seat, my head hit the roof of the car. It was so much fun, I turned around and went over it again. I finally had to stop when my vision started to blur.

I've talked to folks who come from all over the country just to experience our potholes. One guy from New Jersey -- he liked to call them chuckholes -- brought his whole family down to drive around the Mountain State. They enjoyed themselves so much, they spent $4,000 at Midas.

I've become so familiar with the potholes on my way to work that I've given them nicknames. There is a big one I call "Fat Boy," in honor of our first atomic bomb. (What can I say, I'm a sentimental old fool). Another one is so deep, I call it "Bill Gates' Pocket." And then there is the one I call "Señor Firestone."

I not only enjoy driving over potholes, I like to get a group of us together to watch other drivers go over them. We bring lawn chairs and set up along the side of the road and make bets over who will lose a wheel cover or who might shred his muffler. And just for pure entertainment, we love to see those lowrider cars come down the road. Life is good.

I don't know what it is that makes West Virginia potholes so much better than the ones in other states. Pennsylvania, for instance, has plenty of potholes, but they lack any personality. Maryland's are too shallow. And Ohio? Amateurs. West Virginia potholes are so much better, I think, because they're made with love.

Just like ramp season, pothole season doesn't last long. Pretty soon, those guys from the DOH will be out patching them all up. So my advice is to get out there now and enjoy this precious national treasure. Don't swerve. Jump right in.

News editor James Logue can be reached at 626-1031 or by e-mail at jlogue@exponent-telegram.com.

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