by Bob Stealey
Well -- ho, ho, ho! Time it is, once again, for Bob'n'Along's annual Wish List to Santa for various individuals and groups of the area, the state, the nation and the world. In fact, it's my sixth annual such list. 'Can hardly believe it myself.
There are quite a few recipients of special things I'd like for Santa to deliver this Christmas, so I'd better get started.
Hmm, let's see ...
n For the Eveready Battery manufacturers, a brand-new battery that will outlast the Energizer -- the Michael Jordan Battery. It just keeps going and going and ...
n For the Pittsburgh Steelers, a giant "Terrible Towel" to wave them on to NFL playoff victories and eventually the Super Bowl.
n For the folks at Powerball, an extra half-hour between the cut-off time for playing and the time of the actual drawing, to enable them to more efficiently do whatever it is they do during that time span.
n For the Cleveland Indians, a bright red-and-blue-colored banner that reads "There's Always Next Year," which can be used year after year.
n For firefighters, rescue personnel and police officers, an honorary Badge of Courage on behalf of the folks they're perpetually ready to risk their own lives to save.
n For the New York Yankees, nothing. Don't they have just about everything already?
n For President George W. Bush, a small book with a big title, "What Else Must I Do to Convince Some People Our War is Against Terrorism, Not a Group of People."
n For Osama bin Laden, a set of special tools for cowardly spelunkers.
n For the Harrison-Clarksburg Health Department, some definite word as to if and when it will have a new, more accommodating "home."
n For the Harrison-Marion Airport Authority, a "how-to" book on getting back a former name.
n For City Council, free tickets to ride the Clarksburg Parking Center elevator, now that it's finally fixed.
n For Clarksburg city officials, a lesson book by the City of Bridgeport on the right way to erect attractive welcome signs to their town. Also, a lifetime supply of White-Out to partially cover up all future embarrassing signs.
n For Visa, MasterCard, Discover Card and others with interest rates of 19 percent and above, a beautifully designed envelope including newspaper clippings telling of the Fed lowering the prime lending rate 11 times this year.
n For the town of West Milford, a sign indicating the town's corporate limits for traffic that has just turned off U.S. 19.
n For Americans everywhere, a salute to you for your steely resolve in coming together as a people on 9-11, when times seemed to be toughest.
Well, I'm afraid that's about it for this year. 'Sorry it couldn't be more, but times are kinda tough these days. Have a terrific week ahead.
Editor Bob Stealey can be reached by phone at 626-1438, or by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org